Much to my dismay, I don’t have a day collar. Or even an official play collar. We’ve used straps, belts, chains, rope, and even dog collars. But nothing has had the pleasure of remaining a permanent fixture around my neck.
Mister K is hesitant about a recognizable symbol. Afraid of what others will think. What they will say. And while I am open about myself and who I am, what I feel and the things I enjoy, his comfort and happiness is my priority. So, I will forgo a collar.
Mister K knows that I would like one, that I welcome the symbol of his authority, but he also knows it’s not a need, it’s a want. My submission to him does not depend on a piece of jewelry, a token of our dynamic. It is given because I know I am his and he is mine. Even when everything seems to be failing, I can hold this firm and know it is the truth.
When we got married, after many years of being Sir/slut, even more of being cohabitation partners, we decided to get matching finger tattoos. Both being outdoorsy people, we thought about getting a simple mountain. A symbol of all the hills we have traveled together, all the obstacles that have littered our path. And while it was a beautiful idea, expressing a part of our lives that had meaning, it just didn’t seem like enough.
We wanted to stay away from the clichéd infinity knot but knew that it was closer to what we were searching for. Because whether together or not, whether a couple or Dom and sub, we are forever. But we are more than just one label. We are rigger and rope bunny, we’re lovers and friends. He’s the yin to my yang. We’re two sides of the same coin.
In the end, we decided we liked the idea of a knot and ultimately chose a figure eight. It’s easy to tie and used in many professions, from fisherman to rock climbers and especially, riggers. It looks enough like the infinity symbol that people in our vanilla lives don’t ask, they just assume that is what it is. If they were to, I would happily tell them about what the symbol that I proudly wear means to me.
Instead of wedding rings or a collar, we have tattoos. A permanent reminder of our love, our devotion, and a force set in motion. It’s the closest I will come to a brand, and to me, it’s enough, it is everything.
Whether worn or not, a collar is never off.
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I’ve been thinking about subtle ways to be marked of late and I think tattoos are rather good for that. While they’re less visible if small like yours, they are certainly more permanent than a collar and maybe a lot can be said for that!
Indeed. I’m interested in branding too, but Mister k thinks that’s too machochistic. Lol
LOl! Should talk to Marie about that. She’s done it!