Maids A’ Milking and other Discomforts

Kinky Advent 2020-Day 8

See the other posts in this project here.

It’s Day 8 of Kinky Advent 2020 and today’s two prompts couldn’t be more different, even if they are both slightly uncomfortable. One focuses on nipple play, the other, receiving compliments. Both are something that has taken a lot of work for me, for two deeply distinctive reasons.

8 Maids a Milking

At the SafeworD/s Club, Day 8 is: Maids a Milking where we were tasked with performing 8 minutes of intense nipple or cock play. As I am the receiver in this dynamic (for the most part) nipple play it was. I have an interesting relationship with my nipples and they don’t really feel much besides a mild discomfort. Sometimes I feel a sensation that borders on pain, but others they are decidedly lacking in feeling. The flesh of my actual breasts is more sensitive than my nipples. I’m not sure if this is from having children or if it’s a matter of not trying hard enough, so today Mister K and I put it to the test.

After 8 minutes, I started to feel a pinch, but nothing more. Mister K thought he needed a new tactic, so he gave me the task of wearing screw-clamps for as long as possible today. I had to keep them on while doing all my normal activities, including time at the gym. It was interesting to say the least. I got some strange looks from others as the outline of the screws and ring is certainly noticeable.

After a of couple hours, there was a slight color change, but nothing more than that. I was no where close to feeling like I was in pain. Due to the change in colour, I removed them with less than the desired outcome. Maybe some clover clamps are needed. Something to add to my wish-list, perhaps.

Time to Receive

At the Submissive Guide, Day 8 was: Time to Receive, and was all about compliments, which actually make me more uncomfortable than any clamps.

The prompt reminded us that nobody gives complements frivolously and when we receive one, we should accept it graciously and not doubt it. I know I am terrible at accepting compliments and often shrug them off, side step them and make light of the sincere words others give me.

SG reminds me that when we do this we are telling the complimenter that their opinion and words don’t have value. When I think of it this way I feel terrible for being flippant. So, today is about accepting compliments for what they are. We are reminded that this tells the other person that we trust their judgement, wisdom and sense of self.

I took some time to think about why I so easily doubt others good words, and I think it stems from a couple of things.

First:

I know many people that are consistently trying to get something out of others and this tells me their words aren’t sincere. One such person is my biological mother.

Second:

I was taught not to toot my own horn, to be humble in all my dealings and then later as a submissive, to have humility. While I know that I can accept compliments and still be humble, I now recognise that not being gracious when receiving compliments is detrimental to more than just the relationship between myself and the complimenter. It is also harmful to my self-esteem.

Third:

I have low self-esteem and lack a positive body image, although this blog has helped more than I anticipated. It’s something that takes work each day as well as innumerable reassurances from Mister K. Because I see myself in a negative way, I automatically perceive that others aren’t being truthful when they give me a compliment. I realise it is something I need to work on, and while it makes me more uncomfortable than any set of clamps, it will add so much positivity to my life that I must try.

Tomorrow brings melting moments and joy in accomplishments. I can’t wait to see how that comes together.

Until then!

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