Opportunities from Obstacles

Opportunities from Obstacles

I’ve always been leery of answering questions like, “what are your strengths and weaknesses?” I’m aware it is good to know them, but do we have to share them? It feels like you’re giving someone ammunition for later use or putting all your eggs in one basket. That alone should tell you a lot about me.

Having been asked this question before, I have learned the art of “selling myself” when the need has arisen, but it doesn’t make me feel comfortable. My discomfort has nothing to do with the fact that I’m being asked to disclose whether I think I lazy or a procrastinator (which I don’t think I am) or attentive and thorough (maybe I don’t quite fit here either though). It has more to do with my inability to see the separation. I do not think that anyone has inherently good traits or inherently bad. Rather, those traits work together to make a whole, and each person works together with others to make a greater whole.

A Whole, Made of pieces

On my lower back, I have a tattoo of a yin-yang. For anyone unfamiliar with the yin-yang symbol, it is a representation of equality. Light and dark, good and bad, North and South, etc. The symbol looks like it shows opposites, but in actuality, it shows the complementary parts of a complete unit. It is a visual representation of the balance in all things, even character traits. This concept is called duality.

The idea behind duality is that all parts may be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent. Therefore, strengths are not the things that you are good at and weaknesses aren’t the things you’re bad at. They are parts of you that complement each other. I am not great at singing or reading music, but I can write a poem. I get overwhelmed with too much info at once but can keep calm in stressful situations. They may be viewed as strengths and weaknesses to others, but to me, they’re just two parts of who I am.

In my life, I have found that I am drawn to people who compliment my set of skills and fill in where I feel I’m lacking. For instance, Mister K can play many instruments and has an affinity for music, but poetry eludes him. Our traits complement the others and together we make it work for the betterment of a whole. This is obviously a frivolous comparison, but I think you get the point.

Opposites Attract

The saying that opposites attract has proven to be true in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever made a friend or found a lover based on similarities. I’m usually drawn to people who can do things I haven’t learned or are better at than I am. Not only does this give me something to discuss with them, but it gives me the ability to learn.

For myself, if the goal is continuous learning, then you truly aren’t considered weak in any area, just untrained or unknowing. If we mark all people who can’t do the things we can do as carrying a weakness, how will they ever become strong at that skill? If we think about it as a chance for learning or teaching it changes our perspective of the person, and also ourselves.

Personality Tests

I have taken many personality tests over the years. I find that they are mostly accurate, but also very limited. They tell you who you are at that moment. If your mood or your energy levels change, sure you may still lean towards the same personality style, but the introvert part may be higher and the judgmental side lower. Or Vice-versa.

While they are good tools, I think they still highlight the good and the bad instead of highlighting that person as a whole. As well they don’t tell you other things, like how that good deed last week saved someone’s life, or the red light that you ran caused an accident that made someone else late for work and they got fired. It just tells you your personality type, not whether or not you’re a good or bad person, and how could it? Both parts reside in each of us, it’s up to us to decide what to do with it.

The Mediator

If you’re wondering what personality type I was marked with, it is the Mediator (INFT-P), but you may have guessed that from my previous words. I do have the ability to see the good in every situation and this allows me to keep others optimistic. I am open-minded and flexible, dedicated, and hardworking. I’m passionate and energetic as well. But it also says I’m too altruistic and I don’t think there is such a thing. I just balance out those who aren’t. So, is it my weakness or my greatest strength?

While the test wants to tell me that I take things personally, I think I have a different opinion on that but I will agree that I am difficult to get to know.

If you’d like to take the personalities test that I find the most thorough, you can find it at 16personalities.com

Room for Improvement

My personality test has me marked as introverted, intuitive, feeling, prospecting, and turbulent. It also says that as a turbulent prospector that I will never be happy with life and therefore will always seek to improve it. But my life is amazing, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to improve. Sometimes the improvement isn’t about us, but everyone else. I think the desire to always be a better person should not be viewed as a weakness or a strength, just a decision to be better than yesterday…

If we don’t think of our weaknesses as something we’re bad at and start thinking of them as places for improvement, eventually we can be anything we truly want to be. I think the secret is not to say “oh, I’m not good at that”, and then never try but instead to say, “I’m not good at that, yet!” and to work hard each day until you are. That simple change in mindset won’t only change you, it could change the world.

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