Personal Growth-Mind, Body and Soul

Personal Growth-Mind, Body and Soul

In my former years, I instructed a class about how to positively support others and their behaviours. One of the main topics I talked about was self-care. The theory around it is simple, you cannot fill another’s bucket if yours is empty. You cannot be a good support if you yourself need support.

The proverbial emotional bucket is something that we all have. For some, it may be a box, for others a well, but for this post, it’s just a bucket. It gets filled with acts of kindness (done by you for others or by others for you), and love. Each complement, every smile from a stranger (maybe not the creepy guy down the street…), and all those positive interactions with others fill it up and help keep it full.

It is depleted by being a “yes man”, not taking time for yourself, anger from others or your own not allowing you to move past something, and mostly by trying to be a people pleaser. It can become quite the balancing act if not monitored diligently.

When I would ask around the class what they do to fill their buckets, I would get the same responses, time and time again. Have a glass of wine, or relax in a bubble bath. Take a walk or buy a new shirt. Repeatedly, I would find that people would have great ideas to make themselves feel better, now. But what about later, or better yet, preventing the need for self-care to begin with?

Using that training I learned that we need to take care of ourselves holistically. That means all parts, together as one. Mind, body, and soul. The things we do for each piece may be different, but if we take time to work on each every day, they will work together brilliantly. This is personal growth.

I spend time on me each day. I used to think it was a selfish thing, but have since learned, you can’t fill another bucket if yours is empty. And also, there’s’ no harm in being the best you can be. I think if more people worked on themselves first and others second, the world could be an amazing place.

This mindset has served me well as a submissive. Not only have I found that the same tools I use to keep myself centered in life, keeps me centered in my submission, but also that personal growth is a benefit to more than just me.

Mind

Besides reading and writing, I take time each day to learn a language and play an instrument. Not only do I enjoy the process of learning something new, but research shows that tasks such as these lower the risk of Alzheimer’s and other dementia-related diseases. It also makes you a better critical thinker and allows you to build new skills.

As a submissive, I take time each day for meditation and to reflect on how my dynamic with Mister K is progressing. This time (which is only about 5 minutes) helps me align myself, my desires and also allows me to see what is working and what needs work. The act of meditation works so well for me, that I have now started using it in other parts of my life too. Like when I need to write a blog post that I feel is out of my league, or have to solve a critical issue.

Your brain is the most important muscle you have, so it’s important that it stays in tip-top shape. Ten minutes a day is all it takes.

Body

I wouldn’t say I’m a health nut, but I do exercise daily, eat good nutritional food, and stay hydrated. But I also get fresh air and sunshine every day, have eliminated harsh chemicals from my beauty routine (going so far as making my soap and lotions myself), and listen to my body.

Listening to my body is simple, I have a headache and I try to figure out the cause. Or if my stomach is upset, maybe I ate something that it didn’t agree with. It seems easy enough, but when you’re full of man-made products, mechanically created foods and drink more soda than water, it’s hard to decipher where the issue is coming from. Not only will those chemicals and byproducts make you feel bloated and unseemly, they make your brain operate slower too. Your body may just be a vessel, but you need it to last as long as the rest of you.

Mister K does a good job of taking care of my bodily needs. Since we have rules in place about masturbation, it has become his job to give me the release my body craves each day. Your sexual parts are just as important (if not more so) than all the others. Neglecting them can have devastating consequences.

As a woman, I understand the desire to look good but have found that feeling good reflects on the outside more than anywhere else.

Soul

Call it soul, or heart or whatever you want, it’s all the same. Your soul is who you are once all the glitz and glamour are removed. It’s who you are as a human being, where your character lives and breathes. It cannot be measured or weighed, but it is inherently who you are.

Nurturing your soul is a bit different than the other parts of you. It can be fed, but not with food and it can be strengthened, but not with weights. The soul is nourished by doing the things you love. Seeing the places that speak to you, the ones that feel like coming home every time you go.

For myself this means being in my garden, planting the seeds, watching them grow, and harvesting after the work is done. It’s a drive to the mountains to see a lake or sitting quietly with Mister K under a tree. It’s a cozy afternoon with a good book or the hug of a child.

It doesn’t have to be one specific thing, but you’ll know when you’ve fed your soul. You’ll feel lighter, more buoyant. The weight that was pushing you down will feel lifted and finally you’ll feel like you can breathe. Truly breathe. One of those long deep breathes that makes your tummy swell and your chest puff out.

This is the most important part to nourish as a submissive. As a bottom, I am often the one who does the tasks, and always feel as if I’m “on”. On days when I feel a  little overwhelmed, I know that my soul is lacking some serious TLC. Mister K knows that these days I need a bit of rebalancing and seems to know what I need. Usually in the form of a flogging, because yes, that also feeds my soul.

Personal growth is a journey and like any other starts with one step at a time. There is no right way, but a lot of wrong ways. Do what works for you. Just remember, you’re more than just a body and a brain. So much more.

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