Pursuing Pleasure

Many, when on the search for pleasure, look for the familiar. The things that have brought them joy in the past. A favorite food, the sun’s rays soaking into their skin as waves crash on a beach, a feeling of a lover’s hands caressing their flesh. Some search for new ways to find more of the euphoria that is realized. Others attempt to recreate the feeling that their brain and bodies crave. For each, the experience is as unique as the individual.

In the D/s dynamic that I share with Mister K, pleasure is also a unique experience. While we are in it together, we experience it differently and therefore what I find pleasurable, may not be for him. And, as sometimes you need to give, you also need to take, so not all parts of what Mister K finds desirable will tickle my fancy.

Pleasure is a subjective word, and the feeling is equally biased. It has multiple meanings in the dictionary, but also for each person, or dynamic. What is a pleasure to me maybe a pain to you. What I enjoy and derive pleasure from, may bore you to tears. It is a mental state, and can easily be a fleeting emotion.

Pleasure as a noun 

A feeling of Happy Satisfaction or enjoyment

With this definition, I am an object of pleasure for Mister K. I bring him satisfaction and enjoyment, but also, our dynamic brings him the same. That ability to please him pleases me in return. Seeking new ways to make him happy or to give him comfort, has become a source of gladness for myself.

D/s and BDSM have brought much enjoyment to my life. It has become a way for me to fit into myself, to become who I am, wholly. And there can be no bigger pleasure than living a life that you want.

I’ve found that over the years that places aren’t as important to me as who I am with, and therefore I can find comfort anywhere when I am in the presence of Mister K.

Enjoyment and Entertainment, contrasted with things done out of necessity

Our dynamic is not for enjoyment, as it once was. It has become a way of life and a way of being. While it started as an act of recreation and maybe a little entertainment, it has become so much more.

Mister K doesn’t require a D/s dynamic, or maybe the label of it. He knows in his heart that I am his, unquestionably. For myself, the label, the daily rituals, and the words I use have become a necessity. They give me a feeling of belonging, give an impression of stability to our relationship, and add a sense of security for me. For Mister K, our dynamic is pleasure-based, for me it is a need. With this definition, Mister K would find more pleasure in D/s than I.

An activity or event from which one derives enjoyment

BDSM is an activity in which I find much gratification. Like most, at the beginning I was scared. Scared of being hurt, of not having control. I knew I had a high pain tolerance, but not how high. I’ve learned it’s much more extreme than I thought and much higher than Mister K would sometimes like. But I gain pleasure from receiving pain and I enjoy the act of receiving it, of surrendering. I have also learned that it’s becoming a need. A chase to find that pleasure, mixed with the pain.

He derives pleasure from giving me pain, but not in a sadistic way. While he does have sadistic traits, they are very mild in comparison to my masochism. He gets fulfillment from my enjoyment. The pain that sets me free and leaves me feeling euphoric, cements his ability to please me, and therefore he also gets a thrill and a sense of purpose from BDSM, although differently.

Being submissive to Mister K is at the top of my pleasure meter. Serving him brings a feeling of bliss that I have not experienced in any other way. Mister K finds satisfaction in the bond we have formed during our journey. D/s gives us each a feeling of contentment, but again, for different reasons.

Pleasure as an adjective

Used or intended for entertainment instead of business.

I would like to say that I am solely an object of pleasure in this sense, but that would be unfair, especially to myself. While I have been used for amusement, and solely Mister K’s, I also attend to the business part of things, so most of the tasks that are required in a day are not of the pleasurable variety. But by completing those tasks and having Mister K be happy with me, I do find pleasure in their completion.

Our dynamic started as a form of entertainment, but quickly (although not as quick as some) became our life. It was no longer a fleeting past-time but a lifestyle choice and in that, we have both found satisfaction. Our dynamic still has it’s moments of entertainment, but it has become more of a mutual invested interest than a desire.

Pleasure as a Verb

Give Sexual gratification or Give pleasure to

Our dynamic started with the purpose of finding sexual gratification. While I enjoyed sex before we found BDSM, it wasn’t awesome. It didn’t leave me craving it. I didn’t appreciate it anywhere close to how I do now. In the beginning, it was a way to limit the monotony in our lives, to rekindle a lost flame.

It turned out it was something that we both enjoyed and wanted to make a full-time thing. While we started as seeking sexual gratification, we now have a shared desire to serve the other, to receive more than sensual fulfillment. Our dynamic brings plenty of sexual energy and gratification, but it has outgrown those bounds. Becoming something bigger than we ever could have thought.

Defining Something Undefinable

Our travels through the D/s lifestyle we have created gives me a feeling that is much greater than the word pleasure can contain. It’s something that gives me purpose, and fuels my desire to live life fully. Looking at the past, I’ve realized that incorporating this new aspect to our lives changed us from merely existing to actually living.

Not all days are great. Like I stated at the beginning, pleasure can be a fleeting emotion, but I know that our dynamic has brought more than just a simple feeling to our lives. Together we have gained the luxury of knowing complete happiness, inside and out. And there’s no bigger pleasure than that.

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To see more about MrsK and her D/s dynamic, see Let’s Talk About.

For something to ignite your senses, see Fiction by MrsK.