Soulful Submission-Unplugged

There’s something about the sound of an acoustic guitar that pulls me in and makes me want to sit and stay awhile. Maybe it’s how the chords can be strummed to create a sweet melody or plucked to portray the moodiest dark complexity in our minds. How your fingers move of their own accord as you feel the music in your bones. It can be soft, or hard, calming, or edgy. I’m not sure what it is but there are no rules, the only need is the desire to create.

For as long as I can remember I’ve loved the sound of the guitar and have many fond memories of my Grandfather playing. Later in life, it was friends, silently asking for the words to accompany their tunes as they played along with an internal hymn. The sweet strum reminds me of campfires and big open skies, warm rooms, and cuddling under heavy blankets. Sweet kisses and long lovemaking sessions, passion, and fervor. For the hopeless romantic that I am, mixed with just enough of a twist, there is no better instrument to describe my personality.

When I’m feeling detached from my submission, I seem to gravitate to acoustic music more than any other time. In my everyday playlist, I have over 20 000 songs. They are from all genres and you’ll never hear the same rhythm twice in a row. But on days when I need a reminder of who I am, and how far I have come in my submission, I pull this playlist from the depths of my heart, dusting the doubts away. These songs speak to me, either for the words they exclaim or the melody that calms me.

Not all of these are completely acoustic. Some carry the sound of an electric bass or are amplified by a rhythm guitar. You may hear the lure of a piano, or the blare of a trumpet. But no matter, all of the following have my instrument of choice as the lead.

Leather and Lace – Stevie Nicks

“You’re saying I’m fragile, I try not to be

I search for only something I can’t see

Give to me your leather, take from me my lace.”

I always thought that I was fragile, or weak. That I wasn’t whole because I knew something was missing. I always felt like I was searching for something I couldn’t see.

 I especially love this last line. It’s written so the meaning can be many things. Is she talking about giving something hard and tough, something unbreakable, and then taking something delicate and easily destroyed, or is she speaking in a more literal sense? Like the giving of lashes from a flogger or crop, and the removal of lace garments? Maybe that’s just the kinky side of me.

All my Days – Alexi Murdoch

“Well I have been searching
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I’ve been walking on
All of my days
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night”

For many years I knew something was missing, but not how to find it. I spent many relationships thinking about what was I wanted, but never quite knowing how to ask for it. Even after I did find the missing ingredient, I kept it undisclosed, only letting it out at “night”.

Clouds – Newton Faulkner

“Let’s all go out
Go out and find lovers
That scream and shout
The kind you don’t take home to your mother
We are the ones
Who cannot hide under covers
No sacred suns
Just us all crowded and cluttered”

This verse reminds me of how I first started exploring my submission and how I felt that I would always have to hide it, and never be able to bring it “home”. How I felt like I was hiding something that I shouldn’t “hide under covers”, even before I truly knew what it was.

I’m on Fire – Awolnation (Bruce Springsteen cover)

“Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife, baby
Edgy and dull
And cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my skull
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire”

Does anything explain the drive for submission better than this? It became such a calling, such a need, that I felt like I was burning up inside side. Like it was eating me.

This is not the original, but Awolnation did a tremendously good job. It’s moody, edgy and dark, and has a bass line that sinks into your soul. They did a great job of making the song sound intimate and just plain sexy.

Wicked Game – Chris Issak

“What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make my dream of you”

When Mister K and I first started D/s, I often felt like this. Like it was a dream and I was along for the ride. But over time our desires grew and we got to a point where we knew there was no going back. The author is talking about how he doesn’t want to fall in love and the emotions he’s feeling are cruel. There was a time I felt like that about D/s. Like I shouldn’t want it or didn’t want it, but it drew me in with its lure, against my will. This made me hide my desires for years before disclosing them to Mister K.

Fire and the Flood – Vance Joy

“You’re the fire and the flood
And I’ll always feel you in my blood
Everything is fine
When your hand is resting next to mine”

This is very much how I feel about my submission and my dynamic with Mister K. No matter the worry or the situation, when I’m with him I feel braver, stronger, and more alive like everything is fine. He’s able to calm me with just his presence. Being submissive has become a part of me, something that is buried under my skin. It no longer feels separate, almost like I can feel “it in my blood.”

Blackbird – The Beatles

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free”

After I found submission, I knew it was what I had been looking for. But just as the blackbird is often looked at as an outsider, I knew that even though I could be free didn’t mean I would be. I had to spread my wings and learn to fly.

Nothing Else Matters – Metallica (acoustic version)

“I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words, I don’t just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters”

In the beginning, I had this feeling like I was doing something wrong, or not quite honest. I had to learn to be open-minded, and each day I learned something new. I also gained the perspective that when you’re happy and content, nothing else matters.

Everlong- Foo Fighters (acoustic version)

“And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when”

When I finally became comfortable with my submission (although that’s an everchanging thing) I felt so uplifted. Like I had finally found missing pieces to a giant puzzle. But I questioned if the joy would last, or if it was a fleeting emotion. I’m happy to say it wasn’t and continues to be strong. The last line is very tied to safewords for me, and how my safeword is a promise that Mister K won’t stop until I say when.

Into The Mystic- Van Morrison

“And when that foghorn blows
I will be coming home
And when the foghorn blows
I want to hear it

I don’t have to fear it and I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And magnificently we will flow into the mystic”

While this song is about sailor returning after a journey, I relate it to my submission with the words, “together we will flow into the mystic”. It reminds me of the floating feeling I get when I am fully absorbed in my submissive headspace and the almost majestic part of subspace, no matter how fleeting. And it’s very clear what he’s speaking about when he sings, “I want to rock your gypsy soul.” Or maybe it’s not…

Round Here- Counting Crows

“And in between the moon and you the angels
Get a better view of the crumbling
Difference between wrong and right.
I walk in the air, between the rain,
Through myself and back again where? I
Don’t know”

When I learned that the acts I craved weren’t wrong because there was consent and mutual respect, I still needed to realign my view of right and wrong. I had to soul search and redefine what I believed to be true and real, but most importantly right.

As he sings about walking through himself and back again, I’m reminded of all the times I double guessed and questioned my decision to tell Mister K about my desires, and just like in the song, I felt like I was crumbling in my doubt.

Long Time Running-Tragically Hip

“It’s been a long time running
It’s been a long time coming
It’s well worth the wait”

And it was a long time coming, but so worth the wait!

This song is very Canadian, even talking about dropping a caribou, which is a metaphor for a huge load of….

She Talks to Angels- The Black Crowes

“She paints her eyes as black as night now.
Pulls those shades down tight.
Yeah, she gives me a smile when the pain comes.
The pain gonna make everything alright.”

Learning about rituals in my dynamic allowed me to continue creating rituals throughout all parts of my submission. This song reminds me of my getting ready routine, where I apply make-up and settle myself to embrace the pain I crave. And in that pain, I find release and feel reconnected to myself and my submission. The pain makes everything alright.

Give you what you like-Avril Lavigne

“And I’ll let you call me yours tonight
Cause slightly broken’s just what I need
And if you give me what I want
Then I’ll give you what you like”

In these lyrics, I find so many similarities to my submission, how I like being ”his”, how I feel slightly broken before a scene, but whole at the end, and how we trade what I want for what he likes. It reminds me of negotiations and the intimacies of D/s.

The song is actually about an abusive relationship with too much booze involved, but when you need inspiration, you can find it almost anywhere.

There are many more songs I could add to this list, even entire albums. I’ve left out Nirvana and Ed Sheeran, The Lumineers, and many others, but for the sake of this post and your time, I’ll stop here.

My submission has been quite the journey, but I am so glad I took the first daunting step.

I’ve recently started guitar lessons, a wish that my grandfather had for me. It’s tough learning a new skill but just as I learned with  submission, better late than never.

Want to listen to this playlist? Click on the video below (plays in screen).

To find more lovers of acoustic music, play the cassette.

For more about MrsK and her submissive side, see Submissive Journal.

Looking for some kinky inspiration? Take a look at Fiction by MrsK.

Need something to stimulate the senses? Give Photography a try.