#submission 365: Days 33-38

Days 33-38 of Submission 365 are daily prompts from The Submissive Guide’s book: 365 Days of Submission- A Journal of submissive self-discovery. All rights to the book belong to Luna Carruthers. Questions answered on this site are part of a personal project and hold no monetary value. Lifeofakinkywife.com is not affiliated with submissiveguide.com

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I’ve fallen behind again, but in my defense, I have been unusually busy with my other project, #photogenicfebruary. Check that out, as it’s strictly for photgraphy (of course I speak a bit about each image). Regardless, I’m here now with Days 33-38.

Day 33

Do your beliefs closely match your Dominant’s? In areas where they do not meet, can the differences cause difficulty? How do you reconcile differences?

This is one of those things where you ask if you really ever know someone. I know that Mister K and I have belief differences in many areas. Politics, religion, raising children, etc. We’ve had to compromise on multiple differing opinions, but we’ve also learned to listen to the other’s reasons for forming their opinion.

Sometimes we’ve changed our opinions based on that. But I can also say that over the years, I or Mister K have made a decision or formed a stance on an issue, and it completely blew the other away. It astounded our children that we voted for different leaders for our country, or that our opinions on healthcare or regulations differ. We call it democracy and I think it’s an important thing to hold on to and teach to the next generation.

Over time, I think two people who care for each other begin to see and understand where their similarities lie and celebrate their differences. What was once odd, becomes quirky. What used to make us cringe becomes a laughing point.

I’m lucky that mister K and I both appreciate that no two people are the same and we really enjoy learning about religions, culture, and politics, from the source. We enjoy talking to people and knowing what makes them the way they are. We enjoy celebrating those tiny things that make us all different.

Day 34

Describe your morning in detail. Do you have a consistent morning routine? Is there anything you could do in the mornings to make your day easier?

Monday to Friday, I have a consistent routine. I wake with Mister K. Sometimes we have a scene (of a low energy variety), or perhaps a quick snuggle. Then I get his coffee, make his breakfast, then lunch, which is when I make my son’s lunch too. Then it’s time to make my son’s breakfast (their schedules are 30 minutes opposite). When Mister K leaves for work, I start a load of laundry (there’s always one, isn’t there?), unload the dishwasher and walk the dog (we both look forward to this part).

Then I’ll work out, and perhaps read a bit and begin my day of writing or editing, or image taking, or whatever task I have for the day.

On the weekend, there is no routine. Mister K sleeps in, so I don’t know when the day will start. The children are teens now, so they both sleep in as well, and I let them fend for themselves until dinner (the joy of having teenagers). Mister K will often highjack my walk (not intentionally, it’s just that he enjoys it too), and I’ll begin other things.

Sometimes I dread the change in routine and crave my regimented schedule, and on other days it’s fun to see what Mister K will come up with. It’s nice that I get a bit of both the routine and the seat of your pants in my life. I really am more of a pantser than a planner.

Day 35

“It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” – J. K. Rowling, Harry potter and the Chamber of Secrets

We all have abilities, but it really is what you choose to use them for that defines you. Use them for good and the world will rejoice (except for those few, of course) but use it for selfish purposes and the world will rebel against you (again, there’s always a few).

That being said, I think more and more people are using their powers for less than savory uses and taking advantage of others. We see it in politics, sports, relationships and almost everywhere else. It’s the reason relationships fail, friendships end, and families are torn apart.

I think it’s best to know yourself and know that the path you lead is the best for you. Surround yourself with people who will support you, (even if they don’t agree), and be the best person you can be. There will always be those against us, no matter our purpose, but if we remain true to ourselves, we’ll never be led astray.

Day 36

Pick one thing that’s standing in the way of your dreams. What could you achieve if that one thing was removed?

I think I’ve spoken about dreams before and, as I said then, dreams change. Perhaps they weren’t yours to begin with. Perhaps they’ve grown, adapted, or ceased because of new circumstances. And the dreams that stay the same? Once you form a plan, they become goals.

But as for one thing that stands in the way of my dreams? Other people’s dreams. Technically, I could accomplish anything if other people’s dreams were not relevant to my life, but it would be a rather lonely world, living my dreams by myself…

I had a dream of traveling the world for ten years, living in various locations, perhaps doing humanitarian work along the way, but Mister K wasn’t very enthusiastic about doing that. He’s a homebody (although the most extroverted homebody you’ll ever meet) and enjoys staying in his own home. He’d like to travel, he says, but the farthest we’ve been together is a fifteen hundred kms. Understanding that ten years is a long time to travel without your spouse, I’ve given the dream up, or at least amended it to a smaller period…

A dream I still have is to build a campground, but every year with the increases of cost of living, lands taxes, environmental codes, government taxing, the list goes on, that dream seems farther and farther out of reach. But Mister K is on board with this one, so I’d like to think our chances of success increase with the two of us working together.

And lastly, I had a dream that I would be the world’s best submissive, and yet some days I don’t feel like I have a submissive bone in my body. At the beginning of our D/s dynamic being implemented, I thought that following another’s lead would be simple, but that only works if the leader wants to, in fact, lead. Maybe dreams have more to do with who you place them in than anything. You or someone else?

Day 37

What 10 words would you use to describe yourself to someone?

I’m sure you’re supposed to say positive things here, but I’m more of a realist. How about a combination?

Passionate – and once I’ve decided, I will stand my ground (unless you can convince me otherwise)

Open-minded– I will listen to all points of views, whether or not I agree with them (unless it’s utter nonsense, then I may push back a bit)

Dependable– I do what I say I will on time (mostly. I do suffer a hint of ADD at times)

Loyal– unless I’m given a reason not to be, then all bets are off

Generous– often too much and I stretch myself (mentally and physically) thin… So over-giver may be a better term….

Night Owl– I prefer nights to mornings, but Mister K prefers mornings to nights, so I’ve learned to rise with the sun. I still do my best thinking in the wee hours of the morning, though.

Funny– I enjoy a good pun and am the master of the “dad” joke in my house

Self-motivated– but sometimes this makes it so it’s difficult to do what others want, because I have my own stuff going on….

Adventurous– okay, this one is true, but also not. Like, I’ll jump in my car and drive across the country, but I wouldn’t strap myself into a roller coaster. I’d move across the world, but skiing makes my knees wobble….

Intelligent- this one is a bit of a brag, but before you condemn me, understand why I say this. Smarts and intelligence are different things. Smarts is your ability to learn new things. Intelligence is the ability to use new teachings for new innovations. To the outside, they seem the same, but one is measurable, and the other is not.

Day 38

What song or lyric reminds you of your relationship?

It began with

3,2,1- Hedley

♪She’s holding on while she can
Why’d we have to go and change things?
She’s holding on while she can
Now touching you is such a strange thing

She’s so out of hand
I’m dreading all the baggage and what it brings
She’s so out of hand
But still I’d do it all again ♪

Mister K wasn’t keen to be in a relationship, he really just wanted a friend with benefits situation. I was all for it. The idea of being tied down to another person (I was a young mom who was juggling starting a new career and buying a house). But then something happened. We developed feelings for each other, and Mister K one day said,

“I think about you all the time and want to know where you are.”

To which I responded.

“That’s not friends with benefits. That’s a boyfriend.”

And so he said,

“Can I be your boyfriend, then?”

And then he was. And it felt strange to have another person to answer to, and sometimes I regretted it, but the feelings that developed between us didn’t dissipate. We had some off again, on again for a while as we tried to figure out our new roles in each other’s lives, but for the last 12 years it’s been full-time, with only a few bumps in the road (one being my desire to implement D/s).

Now our relationship is more:

 This Love – Maroon 5

♪I’ll fix these broken things, repair your broken wings

And make sure everything’s all right (it’s all right, it’s all right)

My pressure on your hips, I’m sinking my fingertips

Every inch of you

Because I know that’s what you want me to do

This love has taken its toll on me

She said goodbye too many times before ♪

And while another person can’t fix all your brokenness and put you back together, they can be the support you need to do it yourself… And maybe that’s enough.

Until next time…

Love all, Trust a few, Do wrong to none.

William Shakespeare

Header image for Days 33-38 originally posted in Cock your Hat

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