Submission 365: Days 39-46

Days 39-46 of Submission 365 are daily prompts from The Submissive Guide’s book: 365 Days of Submission- A Journal of Self-Discovery. All rights to the book belong to Luna Carruthers. Questions answered on this site are part of a personal project and hold no monetary value. Lifeofakinkywife.com if not affiliated with submissiveguide.com

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I’ve been neglecting my blog tremendously; I know, and I apologize. The world is a weird place to live right now and we’re all doing our part to continue getting by. I’ve been doing some work for an independent journalist but have had some time cleared from my schedule to get back to what I love. Talking with you guys!

I’m 15 days behind right now, so it’ll take me a while to catch up, but I’ll do my best 😊

Day 39

What name or title do you have for your Dominant?

This has been a long process. I’ve always been partial to Sir, although I really can’t pinpoint why. Perhaps it’s that I feel like I’m addressing my superior, or a boss-like figure. It fits the idea of a Dominant inside my head.

Mister K didn’t really like it at first. He said it sounded too “stuffy”. As a blue-collar worker his whole life, I thought he would like to be referred to as the boss, but in his opinion, it doesn’t fit who he is. Bosses are called Sir, leaders call people by their name and expect the same. And so, Mister K it is. In return I get MrsK. Which as you know is the initial of our last name in real life. We’re two parts of a whole, although we both know who wears the pants.

Day 40

Are you allowed to show your lust for your partner? How do you approach your partner when you want sex?

Mister K would love it if I was the initiator, but you may have noticed, I am a submissive. I will never take the lead, even if lust is eating away at me. Even voicing it is a huge area of anxiety for me. Why? I don’t know. But it doesn’t do anything for me.

Being is a situation where I need to ask to initiate makes me feel unwanted, or perhaps out of line. It is an instant kill switch to my libido. So as much as he would like it, I never have and likely never will show or approach Mister K first.

Day 41

Name one fictional character who would be a good role model for an aspiring influence and explain why?

My favourite book is The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel. Placed 30 000 years ago, it’s the story of a young girl who is separated from her family by an earthquake. She ends up adopted by the Clan of the Cave Bear, a people closely resembling our ancestors, the Neanderthals. They take her in begrudgingly and raise her as one of them, even though she never fits in. In the end she is banished by the cruel leader (more like authoritarian) and has to start anew. There are more books after this, so it’s not really the end. In the third book, she meets a man who looks like her- the first she’s ever seen- and discovers the joy of sex without pain, which transforms her ideals about what the purpose of sex really is.

Why do I find her a role model? She was super intelligent. Able to pick up languages with ease and learn new information at an incredible rate. She knew plants and herbs and how to treat her people for medical ailments. She was strong and independent but knew how to follow and when to take the lead. She never worried about fitting in, she was who she was and didn’t much care if others didn’t like her. She stood for what was right, not what was popular. She was once hurt, but decided love was more powerful than pain and I think the world needs more people like that (even fictional). I aspire to be to be exactly like that.

Day 42

Imagine a world where you can do anything you like without being judged by the people around you. Would anything in your life change?

This question is a bit silly, because of course things would change. For everyone. And not all those changes would be for the better. Currently, the largest part of the world’s population can’t walk around mask-less without judgment, so it’s hard to know where you can draw that line in other parts of your life.

For the sake of the assignment, I’ll say this: Everything would change. I’d probably dress differently (less conservative and more in line with my personality). I’d stop caring about my age and start acting how I felt. I’d speak my mind more and care what I ate less. I’d do what I wanted when I wanted and how I wanted. Of course, this is not the world we live in, so I guess I’ll continue being me- as honestly as I can…

Day 43

Where does sex fall on your list of basic needs?

I’ve never understood why sex isn’t on Maslow’s hierarchy table. If we look at the chart, it shows reproduction under physiological needs, and health and personal security under safety needs. Under Love and Belonging you’ll find friendship, intimacy, and sense of connection (not to mention family). Respect, self-esteem, and recognition fall under esteem needs. And lastly, under self-actualization, we read “where we become the best we can be”. So, it would seem to me, sex should be somewhere on that list, as it does all of those things.  

So, I guess for me, sex falls pretty high on my list of basic needs (although I can’t say there has been a lot of that lately).

Day 44

What are a few of your favorite things?

These questions are hard only because they lack substance, or perhaps definition. Favorite things to eat, to wear, to watch? Or perhaps to visit, to plan, to create? You see, there just isn’t enough info to base my answer on.

So here are some of my favorites:

Reading, writing, snacking, driving, sightsee-ing, people watching, inventing, duplicating, and creating

Favorite sex position: Doggy

Day 45

“To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past.” – Charles J. Givens

Let go of it, yes. But forget the past or where it was you came from? No. Those who forget the past are bound to repeat it. There are important lessons learned in assessing what went wrong, or where things went incredibly right. But of course, you don’t want to dwell on them, good or bad, for too long. Looking backwards is no help when you hope to move forward.

Day 46

Does your partner have any nicknames for you? Are there any you don’t like?

For years, Mister K called me sweetheart and I really never thought anything of it. It wasn’t either good or bad, just a thing he said. I never felt it was directed at me, but rather a term of affection. Just something people said.

He’s called me baby for as long as I can remember too, and that name is more personal, but also very common, so it never really made me consider it as more than a sign of affection either.

Oddly enough, when we started D/s, and Mister K called me a slut for the first time, I was really confused. In the past the name had always made me feel…attacked? But when he said it, it felt like it gave me power. Strange I know, but we take what we can get.

For a while now, Mister K has called me “baby girl” as were getting ready for bed at night. The first time it bothered me because I viewed it as a DD/lg term (not that there is anything wrong with the style of dynamic, it just isn’t mine). Now I get a bit giddy when I hear it, and that makes me wonder if I perhaps do have a tad bit of little in me. Although, I think we all have a bit of our kid self in us somewhere, no matter how old we get.

Only 9 more days to go to be caught up!

See you then 😊

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Header image originally posted in Hindsight