Wax Play – Where to Start

Oh, wax play! It’s warm, it’s sensual and candlelight is a bit romantic. Am I wrong? It takes a little more preparation than other forms of play but can be quite enjoyable if you do your research and follow safety guidelines. Being aware of the risks is an important part of any play, but especially when using temperature and fire. Not all scenes involving wax will use flame, but some members of the community, like Mister K and myself, do choose to use real candles.

Safety First

Being risk aware means that you’re prepared. Keep candles and other wax melting implements away from fire hazards. I know it seems like a no-brainer, but it’s important. Safety should always be your first priority. Keep some water on hand to extinguish flames (if needed), or to cool burned skin. Have some sunburn cream or aloe vera gel handy in the event that emergency aftercare is needed. This will make sure you don’t need to leave the room, or bottom if something goes wrong. Hopefully, you won’t have to use any of these things, but do yourself and your partner(s) a favor and keep these items on hand. I keep a little pouch in my aftercare bag for just this.

Preparing the Scene

Before using wax there are things you can do to help with clean up. Preparing the skin is one thing that helps me, especially in areas with hair. It’s recommended that body hair be trimmed or shaved before wax play, as it can be difficult to get out. Personally, I use coconut oil in place of my body lotion and make sure to rub it into areas with hair. Think nape of the neck or the small patch of hair in the pubic region. It’s great for keeping the wax out of arm, leg and chest hair too. Not only does it smell great, but it also adds good moisture to my skin.

You can use any oil that sits on the skin for a bit before being fully absorbed. Coconut oil is rather inexpensive in comparison to argan oil or jojoba but works well in my experience. This is a trick I learned from a Domme, who has been in the lifestyle for 40 years! Mister K often uses this time to do a thorough massage. It relaxes the mind, stimulates the senses and is really a great way to start play. However, I may be a little biased.

Make sure to prepare your area before playing as well. Laying out towels is great, but I‘ve found that cheap plastic tablecloths are the easiest way to clean up. Any wax that falls onto the plastic easily flakes off. They come in many different colors too, if you’re looking for something to match a theme or for a photoshoot. We keep cotton rags on hand as well to help wash the wax away afterward. Make sure you cover the floor too, hot wax can be messy.

Choosing candles/Wax

There are numerous types of wax, but it’s important to know which ones are safe for human use. Some burn too hot and some contain chemical compounds that are not great for your body.

Soy wax melts at the lowest temperature at between 46 and 57 degrees Celcius (114F – 134F), and cools quickly on the skin, making it an ideal choice for a night of fun. It formulated from soybeans and is a natural vegetable wax.

The melting point of beeswax is a little hotter, at between 60 and 76 degrees Celsius (140-170F), and I’ve heard it said that it is too hot to use for play, but am of a different opinion. This is one of those areas where dropping the wax from a little higher up, will allow the wax to cool as it descends to the body. As well, keeping it at a consistent temperature will prevent the temperature fluctuations and decrease the risk of burns.

Mister K and I choose these two types of wax most of the time because they are naturally obtained. Soy is a nice choice for vegans and those with bee allergies and beeswax is good for everyone else. Choosing (or making) candles that are soy-based with a beeswax outer-shell is a great way to incorporate both types of burn.

Many use paraffin and scented candles, which melt at between 46 and 68 degrees Celsius (115 and 154F). Paraffin is odorless, colorless and tasteless which may be more desirable for some people, as natural waxes sometimes carry a residual odor. Mister K and I choose not to use paraffin because it is not considered a safe chemical by everyone, as it’s derived from petroleum, coal or shale (the by-product of burned coal) and the fumes can be considered toxic at certain levels. However, it is considered safe to use in spas and salons for its skin softening abilities. Use whatever you prefer.

Scents and dyes are other compounds that sometimes don’t mix well with the body. Some scent oils can accelerate the melting point of wax making them burn hotter than expected and some scents and dyes irritate the skin. You can buy candles that are specially formulated for wax play, or you can make your own. If you choose to go this route (as I often do), please do your research and be diligent in finding body-safe waxes, dyes, and additives. You can find some great resources online and by asking local kinksters.

Choosing a vessel

Some choose to pour their wax from a gravy boat (yes, the kind your grandmother used on holidays) or from a measuring cup. Any container will do but I choose not to use plastic if I can help it. Plastic stains easily, as well as not reacting ideally to cooling and heating in the long term. It can also be difficult to find a good way of keeping it warm. Some use wax melters or coffee warmers to keep their wax a consistent temperature. This works well if you are doing elaborate designs or you’re apprehensive of using an open flame.

Mister K and I use candles, but we test them out on a small part of the skin, usually my wrist, to check the temperature and to see if the wax dyes tint or irritate the skin. When I make my own, I test the wax before it’s made into its final candle form.

Playing with Wax

Make sure you start slow. Just like other forms of play, not having a build-up can be a little overwhelming. Give some time for adjusting to the changing temperatures. Wax play is a game of endurance, not speed. Enjoy the sensations that are being created.

You can adjust the temperature of the wax by changing the height of the wax being dropped. The higher the stream is started, the cooler it will be upon contact. In my experience, this is a great way to keep your bottom aware and connected to the scene.

Wax dropped from higher up will splatter more than wax dropped from a lower angle. 

Clean up

Removing the wax from your partner can be an extra form of play. Mister K often uses a straight edge to scrape the wax off. A butter knife is a nice dull implement if you’re nervous about a knife or other sharps. It takes time to remove, but if you used the oil technique, it’s so much quicker and almost just wipes off.

If you happen to get wax on your carpet or other fabrics, try using a paper towel, a dry washcloth, and an iron to remove it. Place the paper towel on the wax spot, place the washcloth on top and apply heat with the iron. As the wax melts, it’s absorbed by the paper towel. Of course, dyes may still leave a stain. Nothing is foolproof, unfortunately.

I like to shower after a wax scene. The heat and soap help remove any leftover wax. If you do happen to experience a burn, try using some olive oil to remove the last bits and apply a cool cloth to the area followed by a burn cream or aloe gel. If the burn doesn’t feel or look better within 24 hours, please seek medical advice.

Wax is a great way to have a sensual experience with your partner, for helping a bottom unwind at the end of a long day or for creating a new form of play in your dynamic. Hopefully, you gained some great tips for your wax play experiences.

Happy playing!

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