Lighting a Candle on 13 things I love about D/s

Kinky Advent 2020 – Day 13

See other posts in this project here.

Day 13 is a change of pace for the advent calendar. While I still found a way to get an erotic image idea from the prompts, I enjoyed the reflection period todays tasks brought. Finding 13 things I love about D/s required a different thought process, but once the ideas were flowing, it was like I lit a candle and the flame took spark. I did literally light a candle today as well, as a symbol of reflection and introspection and my dynamic.

13 Things I love about D/s

At the SafewordD/s Club, Day 13 is about listing 13 things we loved about D/s. I did’t put my list in any specific order, I just concentrated on making one. I enjoyed this prompt because people don’t often take the time to list the things they love. We know we love it and that seems to be enough. Having a tangible itemized list to look back on is a good thing to have on those days when you’re spark isn’t quite so bright. The things I love most about my dynamic are:

Connection

Mister K and are often told it seems we can read each other’s mind. We can’t but we are in tune with each other, so some days it seems like we can. We do finish each others sentences quite a lot though, so maybe there’s a form of clairvoyance there after all…

Energy

The energy changes when I’m in Mister K’s vicinity and I feel linked to him by an invisible tether or a direct line. It feels so real that I often wonder if I could reach out and touch it.

Trust

I have trust in Mister K that I’ve never known with another human being. I know in my mind, body, and heart that I am safe with him. He may push me to be better, but he’ll never push me over a ledge.

Openness

Due to our trust and faith in each other, we can communicate and be open in a way we never have before. It’s a broader concept than just speaking, or feeling, it’s a part of everything and therefore we are both actively involved with each other.

Our Dynamic Evolves as we do

We change as experiences give us new perspectives and our dynamic changes with us. Nothing is finite and there is freedom in that I wasn’t expecting.

I feel like I fit In

In many past relationships (and this one for a time), I felt as if I didn’t belong. A round peg in a square hole. The problem was in fact the same, I was trying to force something that didn’t fit. I no longer have to try to fit in, I just am. D/s is who we are and it feels great to be real.

Exchange of power

This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s a complicated thought. By giving my power over to Mister K I feel empowered and therefore powerful. Some days it feels like a tangible item I am literally handing to him. When I no longer carry the reins, a calmness settles over me and I feel a strength in that. Not in my body or mind, but in my heart.

 Interdependence

We both actively work to meet each other’s needs, physical, mental, and emotional. We are conscientious about it. Instead of simply living day to day, we’re actively thinking about the other and how they fit into our plans.

Fantasies are Real-life

I’m able to discuss and live out my fantasies in comfort and know that no matter how dubious they are, they will be discussed. If they are acted out, they will be performed in a consensual way.

Maintenance spankings

This part of our day really brings us together and makes me feel fully submissive. Being spanked makes me feel something between arousal and energized in equal measure. It’s can be quite intoxicating and I have come to crave it.

Being of service

I wrote yesterday about service, but it truly does fuel my pleasure center. Being of use makes me feel valuable. Whether that service is domestic, sexual, or as arm candy is irrelevant. Just being able to serve is enough.

It’s changed my life for the better

Since starting our dynamic I have given up smoking, drinking, and started exercises regularly. I learned that my body is a temple, one that Mister K chooses to worship. His desire for me to be healthy has followed into all parts of my life and there’s a huge amount of satisfaction in that.

I know I’m loved

There are very few moments in my life when I knew I was loved 100% for who I was. With Mister K I feel that every day. Before D/s, I often questioned it, but I’ve come to recognise that the commitment that one must take in a D/s dynamic can only be done if there is genuine care (love) for the other person.

Light a Candle

At the Submssive Guide , Day 13 of the Advent is Light a Candle. It reminds us that Candles have symbolism and the flame they carry has different meanings for different cultures. No matter the reason for lighting one, they are a good reminder that light triumphs over darkness. Today we were asked to light a candle as a symbol of our submission. I think that’s a great reason to enjoy their atmospheric glow.

I really enjoy candles, and why not? They usually mean positive things, like wax play, birthday cake and romantic dinners. But I have pets and children and they don’t mix well with flames. I do enjoy candles in the bath regularly though and today being Sunday means it’s my day

One Sunday each month I am given the day off from the formalities of D/s to re-coup and re-energize. Candlelit baths are one of my favorite day off activities. Can you blame me?

Day 14 brings Festive Fantasies and the bravery of surrender. Sounds like a good fantasy in the making. Until then, take it easy!

To see who else is making lists and lighting candles for #kinkyadvent2020, click on the badges.