Rekindling the Flame: 10 Exciting Adult Toys for Couples is a collaborative post.

Spice up life in the bedroom

Once you get into the routine of things, life can become monotonous and boring. While this doesn’t have anything to do with how much you love your partner, it can be nice to keep things interesting and reignite the sexual spark between you.

We have several tips to help you spice things up in the bedroom, and keep things exciting.

Why spice things up?

One of the key takeaways from spicing things up in the bedroom is more than just excitement, it also reignites any possible dormant sexual interest in your partner.

This mutual decision between partners creates a safe space where you can step out of your comfort zone and experiment with someone you can trust. It can also help you find new things that you didn’t know that you would enjoy.

It allows you to safely break out of your routine and explore each other’s fantasies, something that doesn’t always come easily for fear of judgment and rejection.

It’s important to note that the process doesn’t have to become complicated, it just requires open communication between all the parties involved.

Rekindling the flame in a sexual relationship can even help improve your mood and help you destress. This result is due to having a healthy intimate life with your partner.

The importance of consent

Before you start spicing things up in the bedroom, it’s important to have a long discussion with your partners about things you’d like to try.

You can make a list of things you’d like to try, things you’d be open to discussing further, and things that are a hard no for you. Remember that if you’re uncomfortable with something, you need to speak up and stick to your beliefs. Encourage your partners to speak up if they are uncomfortable about something as well, as this will make sure they feel more safe with experimenting things with you, and that you take their concerns seriously.

Communication is the most important aspect of spicing up your relationship. If there is more than one person involved, then make sure everyone is included in the decision-making process. By opening up communication, it’ll help you navigate the use of sex toys and other spicy ventures in an environment of trust, honesty, and care.

Things to consider before you start spicing things up

Foreplay is important, as it can help set the mood and can help with how this venture in the bedroom pans out. It helps heighten the emotions of those engaging in play.

Remember your safewords, if you don’t have one, create different ones for your partner and yourself. Make sure that it’s a word that you don’t use while having sex in general, so you don’t get confused. The use of a safeword must bring all play to a stop and you must check on your partner to make sure that they’re okay, both physically and emotionally.

If you don’t want to use safewords, you can use the color system where green means everything is okay, orange means you are uncomfortable and to check in, and red means stop entirely at present. Never ignore the use of safewords and the color system as it can break the trust between partners and can cause irreparable emotional or physical damage.

If you want to add additional people to your play, remember to get explicit consent from all parties involved. There are people who actively look to be the third party in play, but it is important to remember that male escorts are only usable for the purposes of companionship. They are not sex workers, and using any escort in a sexual situation can be illegal.

Engaging in public play can be a difficult line to navigate. There are spaces like adult clubs that can be used by exhibitionists and voyeurs. Be mindful if you wish to explore this type of play, as innocent bystanders are unable to consent in these acts. Always be aware of your surroundings when engaging in play that is not in your home.

The importance of aftercare

Aftercare is usually used on the submissive partner during BDSM sessions. With aftercare, you can make sure that your partner comes down from the mental subspace that they occupy during play.

This can also be used when you are trying new things with your partner, it’ll make them feel safe and cared for. Make sure that you comfort your partner, make sure that they are hydrated, and that you help them replenish their energy after engaging in play.

What to remember when using toys:

Make sure that you keep the toys you use clean before and after use. When using certain toys, make sure that you use plenty of lube as it’ll enhance the experience. Make sure that all partners are on board with using the toys you have lined up, if someone isn’t comfortable with it don’t use it.

Using toys:

There are a number of toys and additions that you can use in the bedroom. Each addition to your collection has its own unique way of spicing things up. From sensation play to sensory deprivation, we have listed 10 toys that you can use with your partner.

Rope Play

This is an act where one person uses soft ropes like hemp ropes to tie their partner up. It comes from BDSM play that can restrict your movement while engaging in other sex acts. The rope that you use needs to be treated so that it feels soft against the skin. Rope play is different from Shibari, but like Shibari, it requires a level of trust and patience that you place in your partner. Make sure that the person being tied is not hurt or feels uncomfortable. Talk them through the play and make sure that they’re alright during the process. Take care of them and shower them with affection while they are being tied up.

The Vibrator

These stimulation toys are extremely common and are great to use on any gender, but are most often used during foreplay for people with vaginas. The toy can be inserted, and the added vibrations provide extra sensory pleasure for the person on the receiving end. Users are spoilt for choice with vibrators as these toys come in all shapes, sizes, and even colors. They’re built for pleasure, they can be battery operated, rechargeable and there are even plug-in types. There are even types that sync to music and pulsate in accordance with the song provided. There are far more options if you are willing to spend more. But a simple one can also get the job done.

Fleshlights

Typically made for people with a penis, which can be inserted into the device. Use plenty of lube to prevent chaffing and hurting yourself. It can also be used as a means of foreplay, or you can use it on your partner. You can also make it a hands-free experience, by strapping it onto another object – like a pillow. With this toy, you can also engage in exhibitionism and voyeurism with your partner by having a mutual masturbation session by including other toys too. Fleshlights can be used to edge your partner as well as it’s also a tool to reduce premature ejaculation and to help build stamina in men. Like vibrators, there are different types that can simulate the experience of different body parts and you can increase or decrease the intensity of the toy.

Grinders

A lot of sex toys are phallic-shaped and grinding can be often forgotten during foreplay. Grinders are silicone toys with ribbings on it that predominantly people with vaginas use, but it can also be used by people with penises if you roll it up and use it as a sleeve of sorts. People grind on this toy to receive a pleasurable experience. Use plenty of lube to make the experience better. It provides external stimulation, and some even have a ring to use on a penis – making the experience great for both partners during penetrative sex. It can be strapped to your partner’s thigh or on anything that you can straddle. There are even grinders that can vibrate.

Remote control vibrators

These usually come in smaller sizes known as bullet or egg vibrators, but there are a variety of options if you seek it out – there is even vibrating underwear. These are great for foreplay and it can be activated from different spaces in the room, house, or state. Some come with apps or a control pad that a partner can use. They’re perfect to use in long-distance relationships. After activating it you can use it on several erogenous zones, not just genitalia and there are lots of stimulation modes to choose from. If you want to try BDSM play with your partner, using a remote control vibrator is a great option to get you started. Remember to use lubricant during play as it will make the sensations better and provide an overall better experience.

Blindfolds

These are often used in sensation play and require a lot of trust in your partner. There are blindfolds that are specifically designed to block out one of the five senses in order to enhance the experience of the other four. Alternatively, you can use anything that prevents sight – like a scarf or a soft belt, make sure that it’s comfortable for the wearer. This is a good method of foreplay, as it can heighten the sense of anticipation for the person who is blindfolded. Make sure to keep the line of communication open at all times if you feel nervous or anxious at any time, let your partner know.

Nipple clamps

Clamps are mainly made for nipples, but there are clamps for other parts of the body that can be used too. This is part of sensory play, as it restricts blood flow to the part of the body its clamping. If the area is extra sensitive it’ll enhance the sensations even more, especially if you use it during foreplay – as it builds up the pressure. Using body clamps increases trust in your partner and can help deepen the understanding between you. Remember not to leave them on for too long, as it can cause discomfort. Alternatively, you can use nipple suckers instead of clamps as it can create the same experience, except the nipples will become enlarged. Before using the toy, remember to research it thoroughly.

Handcuffs

Handcuffs are known to restrict movement and are often used in law enforcement. When using cuffs it builds trust between you and your partner. There are other objects that you can use to bind your partner. Restriction falls under the bondage part of BDSM culture but its use has become more common outside the community. Handcuffs can be used during foreplay, as it restricts the partner from reacting and touching on instinct. The thought of cold metal handcuffs may not be appealing, but there are handcuffs with fake fur around the cuff to make the experience better. There are even options made with leather and lined inside so that it is gentle against the body. One can even use a scarf or soft ribbon to tie their partner up – just ensure that it is not too tight and can be loosened in an emergency.

Feathers

Feathers are used for sensory play and can be used in conjunction with handcuffs or blindfolds, as it’ll heighten the experience. You can use craft store features that are made from synthetic materials, or you can buy one made specifically for adult play from adult shops. These stores have full-on feather dusters, or singular ones too. The tickling sensation it provides can be pleasurable. Brush it over your partner with varying degrees of pressure to toy with their senses. Remember not to use feathers from live animals, as it can have bacteria which is not ideal in the bedroom.

Wartenberg wheel

Unlike other sensory play tools like feathers, paddles, wax, and clamps, the Wartenberg wheel can seem unsettling at first sight because of the needles around the wheel. Originally these wheels were used in the medical industry for neuroligical purposes, however, it is also used in BDSM play. You use it by gently running it over surfaces of the body and it provides stimulation for the person on the receiving end. It can be used in conjunction with pain play but with the explicit consent of your partner. You can also use it as part of temperature play by keeping the pinwheel cool before use. Be careful when using the wheel, because too much pressure can cause injury and discomfort to your partner. After the session, remember to use ointment and massage the areas that you used the wheel on. When buying a Wartenberg wheel, opt for one made out of surgical steel from an adult store, as these will be more safe to use.

Summary

Choosing to spice things up in the bedroom is a great way to ignite the passion in your love life.

It can also be a great way to build trust and new understanding between you and your partner by having open discussions and expressing things that you would like to try and may have felt too nervous about voicing out. It also creates an opportunity to learn about your partner in a safe and consensual environment.

There are a number of toys that you can add to your sex life to make things exciting, but remember to practice it safely and enjoy yourselves with these new-found kinks.