A Look Back at 2023

A New Year is upon us (at the time of writing, it is already 2024 in some parts of the world). Taking a look back at 2023, it has been a weird one for me. I can’t say it was bad, because parts of it weren’t. And I can’t say it was good because parts were at time seemingly the worst. In fact, I have met few who didn’t feel some sort of impact. Whether it was financially, in relationships (sexual or platonic), or just within themselves, it seems most people have felt a change.

For myself, I have lost two friends, one to drugs, the other to her own hand. My marriage changed in the blink of an eye, and while I knew we were tethered, I can feel our drifting. There is a discomfort in the unknown, as much as I try to experience it as excitement.

But I’ve also developed a new comfort with my body, even though I still have days where I am not impressed with what my reflection shows me. I’ve begun to discover why I am who I am, and look deep inside places in my mind I’d closed away. I’ve learned that my definition of weakness has changed, and that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is rely on another to take care of what you need. Most importantly, I’ve learned I’m not really there yet, for as much as I once said I was, or lived like I could be.

Looking forward to 2024, I hope to continue this journey of self-exploration. I’ve come to accept that I need to do it more independently than I had first thought, but I’m also looking forward to learning how much I am capable of independently. I hope to be surprised.

I’m unsure where my marriage will go. We’re amicable, even jovial most times. But there is a new distance between us, one I fear was never there before and that can never be navigated.

I’ve also learned that life and the time we get to do some things is shorter than you’d think, so you should do the things you want to, as soon as possible.

5 Things I want to do in 2024 (but make no resolutions to do…)

1. Get my boudoir photography business off the ground. I’ve done a bit of work on it, but not as much as I’d like. I need to focus on marketing, but selling yourself is arduous work when you’re unsure who you are. Which brings me to…
2. Take a retreat for self-discovery and growth. I’ve got my eye on one that shares a resort with an adult only club… but my wallet say it’ll likely happen on my couch. Internal work is work though, no matter where you do it from.
3. Get back into rope. I miss rope a lot. I used to do it solo, but haven’t even removed my rope from its fancy bag in…My skill level doesn’t match that which Mister K possesses, but you know what they say…practice makes perfect.
4. Go on a date with a woman. I really don’t have a “reason” for this, it’s simply been on my mind for a long time. It may just be a date, and never another one, or perhaps it could turn into something more. I’m open to the possibility, and that’s quite new for me, because although I thought I “knew” I was bi-fluid, or bi-curious, I’d never really acted on it. When I was younger, small town living didn’t have the capacity for understanding, and then once I was married, to a man, it just seemed to go without saying that dating a woman couldn’t (or shouldn’t, maybe wouldn’t?) happen. But since Mister K and I are… whatever we are*, I’ve wondered what has stopped me. No time like the present.

*we have not defined how this new arrangement in our relationship will go, but we are both open to letting it fall as it may. There’s an odd sort of peace in that.

5. Get back to writing. Although I’ve developed a new positivity (with the help of a therapist and time), I didn’t write as much as I’d hoped this year (although I have perhaps 200 started works, if only I would finish them). I could reiterate statements I’ve already used, but it’s really, I just was not feeling it. Sometimes the saying that art comes from misery is true, but sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing. 

The stats show my lack of input, but I’m thrilled to know LOAKW has still had almost 60000 hits.

The category Let’s Talk About continues to be the most read, with 

A Beginners Guide to Rope Play

Benefits of Cock Sucking

Obedience – There’s an App for That

Exploring BDSM – Advice For Married Couples

And the top searched term leading viewers to LOAKW…

Sucking dick is good….

I can’t argue with that.

On Mmm Mondays, we’ve seen 156 weeks. The number of contributions is lower than when we originally started, but it’s been a great way to share the works of others, and create a writing habit (and here I thought that was the problem). Each month I share a new book that I’m reading, and each week a recipe I like to enjoy. There are some changes coming this year, and last year I expanded it as a publication on Medium, where a completely new set of Mmm Makers helps it exist.

On Medium, my top story was My Husband’s Girlfriend. A short tale of 750 words, and almost 2500 reads. I made a decent amount of cash off that short story, even though it was one of the hardest for me to share and write. If you’re on Medium, you can find me here.

I also hosted my first guest post on LOAKW. I hope to see many more. 

If like me, Looking Back at 2023 feels like it was a weird one, the good news is it’s almost over. As the old saying goes, 

Nothing lasts forever.

Best wishes in 2024! New beginnings are just around the corner.

I’ll see you soon.

Keep it kinky!

MrsK

Header image for a Look back at 2023 is originally from A Year in Review- 2020.

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A Look Back at 2023 has been added to Mmm Mondays.

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